


Reborn

by SamIsNotLegend



Category: Siren's Lament (Webcomic), Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Amon is here now, Broken Hearts, Depression, Gen, Hide is sad, Hide is sad and thats okay, but no knowledge of sirens lament is needed, canon complaint to the end of tokyo ghoul, i am a little embarrassed, i did not mean this as character bashing, oh shoot its become a song fic, oh snap its my OC Michiru, please dont take it as such, technically compliant with sirens lament as well, this is incredibly self-indulgant, this is mostly unbeta'd
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-03-07 06:16:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18867430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamIsNotLegend/pseuds/SamIsNotLegend
Summary: Hide closed his eyes. It almost felt as if… the song was speaking to him. It was warm, and for the first time in a long while, he smiled, just for himself.





	1. The Siren's Lament

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the song from this chapter (written for Siren's Lament by Instantmiso with music from KennyComics, and covered by Maekan Kouya on youtube)
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbMVqKrkITE

It wasn’t as simple as waiting, Hide thought. His days were long, busy, and to an extent, fulfilling. Still he caught himself wondering - how much longer? How long until the ache in his chest heals? How long until he doesn’t have to live like this anymore? On the really bad days, Hide counted down the years he has left to live and tried to convince himself that it’s really not that many. 

Hide sighed, scrubbing his face with the palm of his hand. Today was one of the bad days. He was in northern Okinawa for a charity event - making a special appearance alongside Amon, Marude, and a few other former CCG employees. It was good work - bringing awareness for ghoul and half ghoul rights, and raising money to sponsor food programs. None of it helped. 

Sometimes walking helped, which had been his plan when he’d left their hotel during the early morning. Hours later, Hide wandered down a lone hiking trail, totally alone. The hiking trail had been featured on a map he’d picked up, but perhaps the map had been outdated, because the path was overgrown and abandoned in some places.

It promised to lead to the ocean though, and Hide was determined to see it before he’d have to head back. No one would be looking for him until around nightfall. Maybe even until tomorrow, when they were due to head out. Amon had planned to meet up with Mado and Takizawa, and Marude was probably schmoozing. They all were dear to him - but they weren’t... his, like they were each other's. And Hide couldn't be theirs. 

Hide was a problem-solver, which was good in many cases, but it tended to work against him on bad days. Some part of him - a small, foolish part - was convinced that he need only do some specific thing and then the problem with his heart would fix itself. Whether that thing was raise money for charity, solve a mystery, or simply see the ocean. Hide chased solutions that didn’t exist, sometimes for problems that didn’t exist. 

It had been five years since Centipede had torn through Tokyo and nine months since Hide had last spoken to his best friend. If Kaneki could even be considered that anymore. In the five years since Hide had helped dig Kaneki out from the monster he’d birthed, their friendship had grown cold. 

It was Hide’s fault, probably. He had grown up alongside Kaneki, and had fallen in love with him somewhere along the way. When Kaneki married Touka, Hide had been happy for them, of course. But between babysitting and spending time with them on the weekends, something had gone wrong. Hide 

Hide smelled salt in the air. Ignoring the brambles that reached out to tug on his shoes, he continued forward. 

First it had been the excuses. They were busy, Kaneki had said, a child didn’t raise themselves. Hide understood. He was just a friend after all, not a member of the family. Then Hide had come to realize that it was never Kaneki who reached out to him, but always the other way around. 

Hide had gotten tired of trying so hard, and their friendship had stagnated. Looking back, Hide could understand his anger, although he was still ashamed of it. He’d thought that his devotion to his best friend was unconditional, but he had needed something after all. And when he didn’t get it, he’d allowed their relationship to become cold, at least in his own heart. 

Hide emerged from the treeline, and breathed in. The sea sparkled under the high sun, and all at once he heard the soothing churn of waves. 

The hike down to the water was short after that. An old floating dock, no longer maintained, stretched out over the water. Nearby, a house stood precariously on eroded ground. It looked as if it could collapse onto the beach at any moment. 

Hide stood back and examined it for several long minutes, quietly fascinated. Pieces of a porch long gone littered the beach, but the house still stood. He waited, half expecting it to collapse. 

The area must have been experiencing erosion for some time, and he realized that that was likely the reason the hiking trail was no longer maintained, and why he had yet to see anyone else. He would have to be careful going back. 

When they’d finally had an opportunity to meet, just under nine months ago, they had fought. It wasn't their first, but it would be their last. Hide had been instantly angry when Kaneki greeted him as if nothing was wrong, and Kaneki had gotten defensive. They had both said unkind things, but everything had been mendable until Kaneki had accused him of jealousy. 

Hide had let Kaneki know about his feelings less than a year after Kaneki had recovered from Centipede. Seemingly happy in his marriage, Hide hadn’t expected Kaneki to return his feelings, and he didn’t. 

Nothing had changed between them, and then Kaneki said that Hide was only upset because he hadn’t been chosen

The waves crashed. 

It was cruel, and it was true. Kaneki had always been Hide’s first (and sometimes only) priority. His heart had broken when Kaneki married Touka, back when Hide was still in hiding. His heart had broken again during their lukewarm reunion, and it had kept breaking after that. 

But he had been okay. He wasn’t going to ask a thing. He’d just wanted to be there. He’d just wanted to matter. 

It was a form of selfishness, he supposed. A way of wanting. He saw the way Kaneki would look away from his face when it wasn’t covered, even after all the reconstructive surgery. He saw the flinches, and discomfort. But he’d thought they would move past it. 

Hide took off his shoes, and stepped into the water. The smooth rocks underfoot readjusted with his weight, and he enjoyed the feeling of sea water washing over his toes. 

Music floated out across the water. Hide didn’t take note at first, so used to music coming through headphones. But after a moment it became louder, and he started to listen. 

Someone was singing. A woman, it sounded like. The song was beautiful, and although he couldn’t make out the words he could tell the woman had a beautiful voice. Hide closed his eyes. It almost felt as if… the song was speaking to him. It was warm, and for the first time in a long while, he smiled, just for himself. 

The music quieted, lingering just outside the edge of his hearing. Sound could travel far across water, especially on a quiet day like today, so Hide couldn’t be sure if the singer was nearby or not. They may even be a kayaker, so far out to sea that he couldn’t see them.

Hide glanced at the worn down dock, considering it. It didn’t look exactly safe, but it might get him near enough to hear the song. He didn’t put his shoes back on, but left them far up on shore, and watched his step. 

The dock was in better condition than it looked, and although some of its boards were rotten, they were easy to spot. Halfway out, Hide stopped to admire a seastar clinging to one of the beams. The water was incredibly clear, giving Hide a perfect view all the way to the seabed. A few small fish swam in lazy circles, and sea anemone drifted with the current. 

If he’d brought better clothes, he may have tried for a swim. 

At the end of the dock, Hide sat down, letting his feet stretch out into the water. The last segment of the dock knocked pleasantly with the one before it, and quietly, the song filtered back into his ears. 

Oh broken hearted one, your soul has grown weary  
Have you turned to the rippling tides to engulf your lonely tears?  
May the waves embrace you, lull you softly to sleep.  
Ease away all the hurt and pain that you’ve carried through the years  
But if given the chance, would you forget the past?  
You and I can start all over  
We can love again my dear

Hearing the song in its entirety nudged something loose, and Hide instinctively held back. There was no one around though, at least no one he had to be strong for. Lip trembling, Hide let the tears fall. It had been a long time since he'd felt alone enough to cry. The sun shone high in a brilliant blue sky, and friendly clouds floated across the horizon. The sea sparkled like glitter, and the sound of waves and the lingering song soothed his soul. 

Hide didn’t regret any of the choices he had made. But that didn’t mean he was okay with the way things had turned out. 

The song had grown louder and louder, but Hide only noticed when it came to its natural conclusion, ending with a small splash and a breath of words. 

“Oh, my.” 

Hide’s eyes flew open. A woman hung off the dock, halfway submerged into the water mere feet from where he sat. Pale pink hair spilled across bare shoulders and large, doe-brown eyes fixed him with a stare. 

“What a bright heart.” She said. “But so savagely broken.” She asked, “what is your name?” 

“Hide” He swallowed, unthinking. Something didn’t feel right… Hide had good instincts, and he had learned to not doubt himself long ago. But she held out her hand, and Hide reached for it, uncaring of the consequences. 

“Come here, Hide. You can forget your pain.” Her hand was soft, but her grip was unyielding. Hide fell forward, face first into the calm waters of the midday. 

Hide held his breath, and squinted against the water. He wasn’t feeling panicked, even though he could feel her hand leading him deeper and farther out to sea. Under the water, she seemed even clearer. Her face turned back to look at him, and she smiled. A tail as blue as the deep ocean propelled them both forward. 

He’d never stood a chance, Hide knew. The moment he’d heard her song - the siren’s song - His fate had been sealed. 

Just when he was feeling as if his lungs might tear out of his chest in agony, she stopped, pulling him to her. This time, when she sang Hide heard the contract in her voice, and the intention in her eyes. 

He didn’t have to accept, because he didn’t have a choice. 

She kissed him, and this kiss didn't taste of blood, or teeth, or heartbreak. It was salt, bubbles, and - 

.

Hide was undone.

A siren was born again.

.

The siren awoke, hovering somewhere between land and sky.

“Hello?” He called. His words returned a picture of the world to him, confirming that he was indeed alone. “Is anyone there?” He looked around, distressed. 

Who was he? 

He didn’t know. 

He looked down at his hands. They were tanned, and covered in scars. He felt his face. Ridged and uneven, he knew that it was covered in scars too. Ugly. 

His torso tapered off into a tail, golden yellow. Pretty. 

Suddenly, he was no longer so scared. He flipped, hanging upside down to examine his fin closer. Yellow like his hair. The bangs brushing across his forehead were indeed yellow. He smiled. 

Something blue glinted in the corner of his eye, and the siren turned to look at it. It was the glow of a human’s broken heart. 

If I kiss them, he thought, I can be human again. He swam toward it, coming to a slow stop beneath a floating dock. A school of fish darted under the dock’s shade, and their shining scales distracted him for a moment. 

I’ll look later, he began to think, but realized that if he became human again then he would not be able to swim with them. 

He floundered for another moment, but the human’s heart shone so brightly, that he decided to just take a peek. 

A woman with pale pink hair dressed in boys shorts and a zip up jacket stood on the dock. She had an orange pair of headphones around her neck, and a green backpack at her feet. 

“Hello there.” She said. 

Spotted, the siren nearly dove back under, but she didn’t seem surprised to see him, so he stalled, conflicted. 

“I can’t find your shoes.” She said. “So I’m going to have to go hike to town without them.” 

The siren didn’t know what to say to that, but she apparently wasn’t expecting an answer because she continued. “Your name is Hide.” She said. “I don’t really know who you are, but your heart was in very poor shape.” 

The siren - Hide? It was a nice name, he wouldn’t mind keeping it - tilted his head, considering her words. 

“I’d advise you to enjoy your second chance at life, and give yourself some time for your scars to heal, inside and out, but I know you won’t listen. Sirens never do.” She looked at him pointedly, and he sunk down into the water, feeling chastised though he didn't understand why. “Well. I just thought you may like to know your name, and you showed up at a very convenient time for me, so I owed you one. Goodbye.” She picked up the backpack at her feet, and then paused, reading something. “Nagachika Hideyoshi.” 

Hide watched her walk back up the dock, and then up a trail behind the trees. Nagachika Hideyoshi sounded a bit too long, Hide was much better. He didn’t really understand why she had been there, or what she meant by sirens never listening, but he also didn’t really care. 

His name was Hide, he was a siren with a beautiful tail, and there were fish to play with under the dock. 

On shore, a rock slid from the side of the cliff, and the house that had stood so precariously slid down, almost peacefully, into the waiting waves.


	2. Waterbound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess I'm continuing this... this one follows the last chapter directly but from here on I think things will be more drabble-y.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Hide sings is Waterbound, by Dirk Powell
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3CYCXFVEEQ

Kotarou ran a hand down his face, his bones aching and his eyes swollen. Seidou slumped against his side, not awake but too keyed up to sleep. Amon could hear his pulse - loud and fast - and it was making him anxious. Akira had announced her intention to sleep half an hour ago, and Kotarou longed to join her but he knew he’d just toss and turn, and keep them both from sleeping. So instead he stared at a paper map that he’d stopped seeing hours ago and fought between feeling sick and being too tired to feel sick. 

It wasn’t like Hide to disappear. 

That was a thought Kotarou had had, over and over, in the hours since his friend had failed to come to breakfast nearly 24 hours ago. In truth, Kotarou had thought it was strange when he didn’t see him the night before, but he’d reasoned that Hide had probably just been resting. Now, he was regretting ever letting the fragile human from his sight. 

So many things could have happened. They’d managed to retrace his steps into some nearby hiking trails sometime early the previous morning. Hide’s scent lingered, but Seidou insisted that he could smell two trails - one going into the woods and one going out. Kotarou’s nose wasn’t nearly as good as Seidou’s but neither of them were trackers.

They’d spent the rest of the day following a dead end - Hide’s returning scent disappeared in town - and by the time it did Seidou had been shaken enough to begin to question himself. In the morning, they’d search the woods again while the local police searched local towns, and wait while a professional tracker was flown in from Tokyo. 

Hide liked his privacy, and he while he wasn’t an internationally-known figure like the Dragon, or even like Marude, everyone who mattered knew that it had been him to unite the ghouls and humans. His disappearance would cause an uproar. A quiet one, but devastating nonetheless. 

Beside him, Seidou’s pulse finally evened out into an even beat. Good. His fellow half-ghoul had been frantic, convinced that he’d led the search party on a false trail. 

It was no small feat, but Kotarou managed to muster the energy to maneuver Seidou into his arms, and then into their bed. Akira shifted in the dark room, but didn’t wake. He wished he could join them, but the effort of carrying Seidou had woken him up even more, and Kotarou cursed his restlessness. 

Of the three of them, Kotarou was probably closest to Hide. Seidou was closer to his age, and Akira mentored him, but Kotarou understood him. 

Both he and Hide worked like hard-heads, Hide with a bit more finesse and Koutaro with more brute strength, but they were similar enough. They continued forward in their goals, pushing aside doubts, discomforts, and eventually their own lives. Only Koutaro had had Akira and Seidou to pick him up when the war was over and he was left directionless. 

When all was said and done Hide had received nothing but scorn from the one person… Koutaro shook his head, shaking the thoughts loose. He could hear Hide’s annoyed voice, rising even now in defense of Eyepatch. 

Kotarou cast a last glance at the pair fast asleep on the bed. If nothing else, he had to move, or his thoughts would begin to circle again. He left a note, telling them that he’d gone to retrace their steps and he’d be back soon. 

Technically, it was morning, so he could just say he’d gotten a head start. 

If there was one thing to be grateful for since he’d more or less become a ghoul, it was his eyesight. On a cloudless night like tonight with a full moon overhead it was almost as if he was walking around during the day. 

It was humid outside, but still far cooler than the heat of the day would bring. Kotarou breathed deeply, and allowed his nose to bring him to the edge of the hiking trails. If he concentrated, he could just barely catch Hide’s scent. His nose was pretty bad, but even he could tell that the smell was fainter now than it had been the previous morning. 

He walked into the woods, thinking only of finding his friend. There was nothing scarier than him in the woods. Except, perhaps, Hide. 

He shuddered, horrified with himself, and shoved the image of the human’s broken and bloody body from his mind. 

The hiking trails branched off from each other at multiple places, and they’d sent people down each one. Kotarou paused in front of a map on the trail. It was different than the one he’d been studying in the hotel room, and it took him a moment to determine why. The paper map had shown a closed trail that led to a beach - this one didn’t have that. 

Kotarou stared into the dark woods. Could Hide have wanted to visit the ocean before they left? 

The abandoned trail was blocked off by a carefully placed log. Kotarou jumped it - thinking that Hide would have done just the same. 

By the time Kotarou could hear the ocean, light was beginning to filter through the trees. Sunrise was still a ways off, but the promise of day was there. It was then, that he froze, silent and still as the sky and listening hard to a song. 

 

“I went out late one night, moon and stars were shining bright  
A storm came up and the trees came down, I’ll tell you boys I was waterbound

Waterbound on a strangers shore, tide rising to my door  
Carried my home to the field below, I’m waterbound nowhere to go

So I’m gone and I won’t be back, don’t believe me count my tracks  
River’s long and the rivers wide, I’ll meet you boys on the other side 

So say my name and don’t forget, water still ain’t got me yet  
Nothing but I’m bound to roam, waterbound and I won't go home”

 

Whatever had been holding Kotarou released at the last note, and he took off towards the sound in a sprint. 

His friend’s voice had been beautiful, almost unbelievably so, but it had been him, he was sure. 

“Hide!” He called, breaking from the trees to the beach. Silhouetted against the brightening sky, Hide sat at the end of a long dock, legs dangling in the water, and back to the beach. He turned in the same moment Kotarou saw him, familiar yellow hair and scars doing nothing to ease the shock of his foreign expression. Confusion, fear, disbelief - nothing like Hide had ever looked at him before. 

And then suddenly he was gone, with hardly a splash to announce his dive into the water. Kotarou hesitated just a moment, more than shock addling his brain. 

“Hide.” He croaked. Then louder, “Hide, come back!” He ran to the end of the dock, not sure what he was hoping for, but he was nowhere to be found. He searched the cold, black depths of the ocean, eyes peeled and ears stretching to find any trace of his friend. 

Unlike the night, the ocean did not reveal itself to him, and he could see no further into its ink-like waters than his hand could stretch. The waves quieted and the world held its breath - Kotarou stared at his reflection in the water and found himself wondering if he’d even seen his friend at all. 

He looked back towards the beach, and the earth breathed again. On the other side of the wrecked house, a point of red caught his eyes.  
They were Hide’s shoes. He walked to them in a daze, and when he reached them, he couldn’t touch them. 

.

Hide watched the human from under the dock, feeling safe in the dark shadows. The fish he’d made friends with during the day slept now, and small sharks and other creatures roamed in the early morning. 

He didn’t like that the human had known his name. He didn’t like that he had called to him, when Hide had just been singing and and enjoying the stars. He didn’t like that the human was still here. He hoped that he would leave soon. Hide sunk down until just his eyes remained above the water, tail swishing and ready to dive back down at a moments notice.

He thought of the pink-haired human (who had most likely been the siren to turn him, he’d realized) and her words of warning. She had told him to let his scars and heart heal. 

On shore, the human had pulled out a phone and spoke to someone quietly. Hide mentally urged him to leave. 

Maybe this person knew who he was. Logically, Hide thought, he may even be able to help Hide become human again. 

His very being rebelled at the thought. He was a siren now. Whoever he had been before, it didn’t matter. He needed to heal. The pink-haired lady had said so. Maybe this human had even been the one to break his heart. Hide glowered at him dubiously. 

He turned, and Hide swam down to hide among the rocks. When he emerged a while later, just as the sun was turning the water golden, the human had gone. 

Hide breathed a sigh of relief, but it didn’t last long as soon he was hiding behind a piece of driftwood far out from shore. Nearly two dozen humans were on the beach. They’d called his name for awhile, and were now shifting through the collapsed house on the beach. Hide looked over the humans, finding the original one. Two other humans - both smaller than him - stood close by. Hide stared for one last moment, head cocked. 

The woman - blond and wearing a patterned blouse tied off at her waist, held the original humans hand. The other - a man with white hair and a young face - ducked under the bigger man’s arm, hugging him. 

Hide smiled, though he didn’t know why. He fell backwards into the water, swimming through the morning waves. The water was cool and soothing, and tasted sweet on his tongue. 

The place he’d been born, with the dock and little fish had been beautiful, but there was an entire ocean to explore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the song again
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3CYCXFVEEQ


	3. The Octopus Song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heck yeah I'm riding this inspirational wave as far as it will take me. Quite a few songs this time around. And two whole Finding Nemo references! 
> 
> Sweet Caroline  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzXt7YvK9Hw  
> Beyond the Sea  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43GkQcl2ID0  
> Octopus song  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hq9E5JFGOaM

The ocean was anything but quiet. For some reason, this had surprised Hide at first. Though the siren didn’t remember it, he supposed he used to have some preconceived notions about the vastness and silence of the ocean. 

He hummed a quiet tune, keeping just loud enough to perceive his surroundings. The ocean was huge, yes, but it was far from empty. There were thousands - maybe even millions - of different kinds of fish, and so many others besides. Crustaceans, mammals, the plant life, invertebrates… even now, when he swam across an ‘empty’ plain of sand, his song told him that there were little fish hiding in the sand, and crabs disguising themselves as the rocks. For awhile now, he’d been able to hear a pod of small whales, maybe minkies, breaching. That wasn’t even mentioning the microscopic creatures that even now kept him in quiet company. 

In actuality, they weren’t so quiet. In fact, they, along with every other creature under the waves, was quite loud. The coral talked in hiccups, and the whales sang to each other, clearly heard from miles upon miles away. The little fish shuffled in the sand, and eels huffed, blowing up little bubbles. Boats were loud too, and even far from shore there were a lot of them. 

Hide, of course, added to the noise in his own way. Sound was the key to seeing down here, especially when it was night or he had swum deep. He sang to himself, and to all the creatures around him. At first, he had sung the sirens song - one that he instinctively knew would lure broken-hearted humans into the water. But that song was a little boring, so he’d begun singing other things. 

To his delight, he knew a lot of songs by heart. He discovered more and more each day, it seemed. Whoever he’d been as a human, he’d clearly been an avid lover of music. How wonderful that he’d become a siren - now he had a voice that sounded good no matter what he sang! 

Ahead, Hide caught a vague picture - a shark perhaps, pursuing something small. Curious, he went to meet it. Usually, sharks weren’t much of a threat. He supposed that something big like a great white could eat him, but he hadn’t seen one so far. And he was probably a bit too bony. This shark in any case was way too small to even think of bothering a fish as big as him. (Hide had no way of measuring, but his tail was at least twice the length of his torso, putting his total length somewhere around two and half meters). 

“Sweet Caroline - ba ba ba...” The picture returned was that of the shark antagonizing a small octopus. Hide reached the scene, humming the rest of the lyrics. There was a haze in the water that suggested the octopus had inked in an effort to escape, but it had failed. One discarded tentacle lay wriggling a little ways away, no doubt a casualty in the sharks pursuit. The octopus’ skin shifted colors and textures every few seconds but somehow the shark was not deceived. It was just not the octopus’ day. 

Holding a hand out, Hide sent a strong current of water to send the shark spinning. It wasn’t that he disliked sharks at all, but he couldn’t shake the idea that the octopus was being bullied rather than hunted. Of course, sharks were probably not smart enough to accomplish something like bullying… but, well, the deed was done. 

The octopus, now saved, curled up against the seafloor and shifted to match the color of the sand, immediately disappearing from Hide’s eyes. He could still ‘see’ it through echolocation, but even that was a little difficult. 

Hide paused for a moment, shifting through a mental compendium of songs before picking one. He’d been in a classics mood lately. 

“Somewhere…” He began, “beyond the sea,” the song was upbeat, but with some melancholic undertones. A guilty pleasure, if he was honest. The song spoke of an anticipated reunion between lovers, and though Hide couldn’t remember his broken heart, sometimes songs like this made him feel an echo. No… it was more like an echo of an echo. A forgotten dream that lay just beyond his reach. 

He may have had a broken heart and become a siren because of it, but Hide could tell that he was a romantic anyway. 

He continued to sing about sailing and golden sands, slowly becoming aware that he was being followed. He didn’t dare risk a glance backwards, lest he scare the poor thing off. He wound lazily over the ocean sands, not even disturbing the skittish sand fish which spun their long bodies into the currents to catch passing plankton. 

When his song ended he chose another, this one happier, but no less calm. 

XxX

Hide spent the next few days exploring the sandy plain. It wasn’t too deep here, and the water was bright and warm during the days. Whale song often played chorus, and there was no lack of interesting fish and plants to keep him entertained. All the while, his little octopus friend ventured nearer and nearer. 

Until a little over a week after he’d run the shark off, Hide sat at the ocean floor, tail anchored around a lone rock. He was watching the sunset - hundreds of meters below the surface - when a single arm reached to wrap around his tail fin. Hide didn’t move, and the octopus curled tighter. 

“I should give you a name.” He said. 

The octopus didn’t respond, and Hide thought that maybe he was asleep. Did octopi sleep? Apparently, unlike Hide himself. 

“So what’s a good name for an octopus?” He wondered aloud. “Hm. Octo… guy. Octavius… Octavia? ...Hank. No, not Hank.” He looked down at the little guy, who had all seven present legs curled around his fin, the eighth still missing from the shark attack. “Maybe I’ll call you Seven until I can think of something better? Yeah that's not so bad.” 

Only the name Seven stuck, and by the time the invertebrate made it clear that he’d be sticking around, Hide had forgotten that he was trying to come up with a better name. 

XxX

“Have you turned to the rippling tides to engulf your lonely tears?” 

Hide turned, the familiar lyrics catching his attention. There was another siren nearby. 

Seven (now inappropriately named because his eighth leg had regrown) curled around his shoulder.

Hide had met other sirens in passing, but to his disappointment they hadn’t really been interested in hanging out. 

Hide followed the sound anyway, at times missing the song around the roar of a motor. 

He found his fellow siren trailing after a boat that was heading towards shore. She had short, stiff black hair and a pale purple tail. 

“Hey there!” Hide called, swimming up from deeper waters. 

The siren glanced at him but didn’t respond, swimming faster to keep up with the boat. Hide huffed. What was the big deal? There wasn’t even a broken heart on the boat. Put out, Hide left the siren to her own devices and circled down into the bed of kelp below. 

Kelp forests were pretty fun - and Hide spent the rest of the day playing a modified version of hide and seek with Seven. It had to be modified because the octopus didn’t quite understand the rules. When it was his turn to hide he tended to think that camouflaging himself to match Hide’s tail was sufficient.

After a few dozen rounds, Hide stopped with Seven to crack open blue mussels. Seven didn’t really need help finding food, but when Hide did help him, it just meant that they had more time to play later. 

“Octopus, octopus, eight strong legs - they’re not a wuss-!” Hide sang, handing a mussel over. 

“Squishy mushy tentacles, so preposterous!  
Suction cups, squirts out ink  
Not a bird but has a beak!  
That’s my favorite cephalopod, that’s my octopus!  
It uses camouflage to hide  
It’s floppy head and beady eyes  
Invertebrate, intelligent, but never lacks in elegance!” 

Seven bounced against the pebbles on the seafloor in time to the tune, and Hide held back a laugh. His song came back as he continued to sing, and Hide picked up a picture of the siren from earlier lingering nearby. 

“Octopus is a badass everyday  
And loves to dine on the crab buffet  
And like Houdini of the sea  
From any bond they will get free!”

Not for the first time, Hide wished he had some sort of guitar. A ukulele would be great too. Unfortunately, he had yet to discover how to make any sort of instrument work underwater. 

Beyond his scope of vision, the other siren made their approach. 

“Hi.” Hide greeted when she appeared, offering a smile. 

She returned it, though it was more of a grimace than a convincing smile. “Sorry I… ignored you earlier. I thought I saw a broken heart, but it kept flickering. And they couldn’t hear my song.” 

“That’s unusual.” Hide said. “Maybe they were getting over it. Whatever broke their heart, I mean.” The siren was pretty, if in a severe way. Her purple tail flicked in the water, perhaps in nervousness, and the button up shirt she wore covered nothing except her arms. Black almond shaped eyes peered out at Hide from the shadows of the forest.

“Maybe…” She allowed.

“I’m Hide by the way. And this is Seven.” He gestured to where the octopus, who was the same shade as Hide’s tail, was slamming a stubborn mussel against a rock in an effort to get it open. 

“It’s nice to meet you.” She swam forward and settled against the rocky bottom, tail curling to wind around itself, a bit like a snake. “I don’t have a name yet.” 

Hide nodded. Most sirens didn’t have names. Often, they said that they would give themselves one when they became human again, but Hide thought that was a little depressing. How were you supposed to make friends when they couldn’t even call out to you? 

“Do you want one?” 

“Excuse me?” 

“I’ll give you a name, if you want.” 

She frowned. “Okay, but I can say no if I don’t like it.” 

“Yeah, of course.” Hide fell quiet, contemplating the empty shells in his hands. “How about Michiru?” He offered. 

“Michiru.” She rolled it off her tongue, and seemed pleased. “I like it. Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

“I heard you singing.” The now dubbed Michiru said. “You know a lot of songs, don’t you?” 

“Yep.” Hide confirmed. “I think it’s my talent. Just like - memorizing songs or something.” 

“If it’s not too much to ask… could I listen to you sing for a little while?”

“Of course!” Hide grinned, flicking his tail in excitement. “Usually Seven is my only audience. And he really doesn’t get the backstreet boys. Any specific requests?” 

After a few songs, Michiru began to join in on the chorus, and Hide could not have been happier.


	4. Hallelujah

Ken had never been one for music. It was distracting; when it played he couldn’t help but listen to it, and give it more attention, he felt, than it deserved. He especially hated music when he was trying to read. 

Hide though, Hide had loved it. 

Kaneki paused, Ichika halting beside him. She was ‘too old’, in her words, to hold his hand when they walked anymore, but she still stuck close. She looked up at him, but Kaneki hardly noticed, far away. 

The song the performers were playing was simple. There were two of them, a man with pale hair, and a woman with dark hair. The man was beating out a rhythm into a small drum and singing, and the woman played on a keyboard and jumped in for the harmony. They’d amassed a small audience in the park, and were clearly skilled. This song was different though, even Kaneki, who paid music no more attention than strictly necessary, understood that. 

“Within half an hour you will be gone,   
And I won’t see you anymore.” 

Would Hide like this song? It wasn’t as… loud as the music he’d usually listened to, and it seemed morose, but then, Hide had loved all music. Had, because Hide was gone. Really gone this time, Kaneki was pretty sure. Or if he wasn’t, he’d been missing the first time for about four years, and they were coming up on that benchmark for the second disappearance soon. Either way it didn’t matter, because Kaneki would never see him again. 

Ken knew that he’d seen his best friend for the last time months before Hide had gone missing. A relationship didn’t recover from the kind of thing he had done. 

“And I’ll miss you like you’re dead  
But I never got to grieve you” 

When Hide had been announced missing, he hadn’t felt surprised. Or he hadn’t felt surprised enough according to some people. They were probably right. They were probably right about a lot of the things they said about him. 

Kaneki couldn’t make them happy, so he’d stopped trying. He couldn’t even make himself happy, so really, they were expecting too much. 

“So your phantom follows me  
Like a child would their mother  
Or a lover   
Who never said goodbye”

Ichika reached out and took his hand, and Kaneki felt her fingers, still small, for all her boasting that she was growing, wrap around his own. He stroked the back of her hand with his thumb, and smiled, but didn’t look away from the musicians. The man’s eyes were closed in concentration, and if Ken weren’t so bad with people, he’d guess that the lyrics of the song affected him deeply. He might have even written them himself. 

It was a beautiful day for the park. That was what Ken had said, when coaxing Ichika away from the television. He worried that she spent too much time inside. He worried that she didn’t eat healthy enough, he worried if she got along with the other kids, he worried about her health. He worried that her ghoul side was too strong. He worried that her human side was too strong. Everything about her life worried him, but he also marveled that she was the strongest person he knew.

His friends said he was doing a good job raising her, but Ken thought that if she grew up happy it would be in spite of him, not because of him. 

He was doing his best. The sun rose and fell with his daughter, and even though he knew his best would not be enough, he could only pray that she would forgive him, and it would all turn out okay. 

She squeezed his hand, and Kaneki looked down at her. She, like she’d always been able to do, saw right through him. “Uncle Hide would love it.” She said. 

Ken nodded, smiling tightly. Selfishly, he wished that she couldn’t remember him. Hide had been her most beloved babysitter, and she had asked, pled, and cried for him after their falling out. She still mentioned him, from time to time, although she seemed to understand that her father didn’t wish to talk about him. 

Ken was certain Ichika thought something horrible had happened to Hide. 

“And I cry myself to sleep   
And you thought I was happy   
I was lonely   
And had nowhere to go.”

She was probably right. At the beach where Hide had disappeared, they’d found nothing but a pair of shoes, a collapsed building, and the stale smell of a stranger who had worn his clothes up the trail and then disappeared. 

Whoever the stranger was, they probably knew what had happened to Hide. But no one had been able to find them. (Even if they had, Ken only would have heard about it after. He had no right to something like revenge. He wasn’t allowed to be angry, or hurt. He couldn’t abandon his friend in life and then care only when he was gone). 

“And I’ll miss you like you’re dead   
And I’ll find a way to grieve you   
Cause I need to   
Try and start again”

The song was drawing to a close. Ken saw people beginning to edge towards the musicians open instrument cases, small bills in hand. He reached for his wallet, pulling a few out for Ichika to run and drop into the case. 

The singers morose expression dropped at the end of the song, and he smiled widely at his partner. They shared a few words he couldn’t hear, and began another song. This one was faster, and the lyrics were a little silly. The crowd chuckled to themselves after every few lines. 

Ichika came skipping back, and took his hand without a word. They began walking again, and Ken very resolutely did not bring attention to the fact that she was holding on tightly. He was the father of a growing girl, and moments like these were only becoming more precious. He would cherish them as best as he could. 

They came to the play set, and Ken sat at a nearby bench, content to let Ichika play. She did, making fast friends with a girl her own age. Their excited chatter and shrieks of joy fell into the background as Ken relaxed. 

Hide would have liked that song, he finally decided. He would have complained that it was sad, but he would have smiled while saying it. And maybe Ken would have looked over his shoulder one day, and seen Hide listening to it. Then, if he was a good friend, maybe Kaneki would have known that his friend needed cheering up sometimes too. 

“And your ghost will have to leave   
Like a child would their mother   
Or a lover  
Who has to say goodbye.” 

X

That night, after Ichika was asleep, Ken dug into his closet where he’d buried his greatest heartache. It was a small tin, about the size of a notepad. Inside were a few small things iIde had left behind. Ken didn't deserve them. He kept them anyway. A photograph, of the two of them together the day they graduated from high school. A folded piece of paper, bearing a few illegible lines of a note they’d passed back and forth, and which Ken had never brought himself to throw away. A receipt. A badly done and unwearable (by design) friendship bracelet. And an old, first generation iPod. 

Ken Picked up the iPod, and put the other things away. He eventually found a cord that would fit it, and plugged it into the wall. Then he sat and waited to see if it would charge. It would, and he released a breath of relief. It took him an equally long time to find a pair of headphones, but he did. 

He sat at his dining table, earbuds awkwardly placed, and thumbing through the immense selection of his best friends music. He didn’t know where to start. So he picked something at random. 

A man began singing in English. He was loud, he was upbeat, and Ken could remember Hide shouting along to these very same lyrics. 

“All you sinners stand up, sing Hallelujah!” 

“Hallelujah” Ken whispered. 

“Show praise with your body   
Stand up sing Hallelujah!” 

He said it again, closing his eyes. He could remember. They’d been alone, and Hide had been playing music from the headphones around his neck while they walked. He’d sung along, more than making up for the quiet volume. He’d looked at Ken… and Ken had smiled, and Hide had kept singing. 

“And if you can’t stop shaking, lean back   
Let it move right through ya.”

“Say your prayers!” Ken sang, badly and off key, but for the first time in a long time, he smiled, just for himself. 

X

A long, long ways away, a siren with fading scars, a tail as bright as his hair, and a heart that put them all to shame, was struck with sudden inspiration. 

“The time for being sad is over!  
And you miss ‘em like you miss no other!   
And being blue is better than being over it! Over it!” 

His song carried through the ocean, and the ocean responded, sending a current to lift him up. He stretched, reaching for the rising moon, thousands of miles from where he danced at the bottom of the seafloor. 

“All you sinners stand up sing Hallelujah!  
Show praise with your body   
Stand up, sing Hallelujah!” 

X

In the morning, Ichika would find Ken with his head pillowed in his arms, and the iPod still playing into his ears. She’d see that he was smiling, and think that he was having a good dream. She’d be right. 

He’d only wake up after the curiosity got to be too much, and she pulled one earbud out to listen for herself. They’d spend the rest of the morning listening to music, and then in the afternoon would go to the store to find something to play it out loud. 

Uncle Hide’s iPod, as she’d come to find, wouldn’t change their lives. Her dad would still grow quiet sometimes, and he would go to somewhere she couldn’t reach, but the small device would make moving through it a little easier. The music filled the house when it became too quiet, and some songs (Ichika came to know them by heart) made her dad smile, no matter how far away he was in his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you believe that I had a totally different and much happier plan for this chapter? And that Kaneki wasn't supposed to show up at all, let alone Ichika? 
> 
> Anyway... here are the songs 
> 
> So This is Goodbye by Willian Fitzsimmons
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwB56HQLFJY
> 
> aaaaaand Hallelujah by Panic! At the Disco
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxYyHHR0Q1c
> 
> Try not to judge me too much for that second one. I put my own iPod and shuffle and that's what came up. Seemed on-brand for our Hide.


End file.
